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My clitoris is so sensitive it is painful when touched directly, even by something such as a jet-spray of water in the shower. I can touch myself over my clothes and climax, but I'm always reading that direct clitoral stimulation should be extremely pleasurable, and I'm upset that I can't experience this.

It is troubling for my partner too, even though I can orgasm through penetration. Oral sex also feels painful.

Should I just be happy I can climax at all? Or should I get this checked out by a doctor, although I don't know if this is the sort of thing I could go to a GP with.

You could certainly ask your GP to refer you to a gynaecologist, who may be able to discern the cause of your acute clitoral sensitivity and possibly find ways to assuage it. A GP could also refer you to a psychosexual therapist who may help both you and your partner find new ways to manage this problem. Or you could refer yourself to a sex therapist via the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists.

You have already gained much insight into your sexual responses and have worked hard to achieve a satisfactory sexual connection with your partner. The next step is to improve communication with him so that he becomes an empathic ally in your search for more comfortable and varied types of stimulation.

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